Thurston Blogging

Super Bowl Predictions

Today, with no football on - I watched football.  In fact, I watched the Super Bowl.  It was Super Bowl XXXI (that's 31 for you non-Romans) on the NFL Network.  Favre beat the Patriots today.  What I found interesting was how few players from that game are still in the league, and even less were still with their respective clubs.  From what I could tell only Brett Favre is still a Packer and Tedi Bruschi is still a Patriot.  Bruschi has suffered a stroke and Favre as suffered through some crappy teams since then. 

Also interesting was how dominant Reggie White was.  He had three sacks on Drew Bledsoe, and made Max Lane rethink playing offensive line in the NFL.  Hard to believe that he's been dead for over three years.

Anyway, on to my predictions for next Sunday's Super Bowl XLII.  The betting line is Patiots by 12 and the over/under is 54.

Here are my predictions:
* The Giants will cover
* The Giants will win by 10 points
* The combined score will be over 54 points
* Plaxico Burress, formerly of my beloved Pittsburgh Steelers, will be named the MVP
* Tom Brady will not finish the game
* Eli Manning will not throw a pick
* There will be a special teams touchdown
* Tom Petty and the rest of the halftime show will be boring
* I will have more than one beer
* Tom Coughlin will cry, mostly for being so sage and playing his starters during the first Pats game
* Tiki Barber will also cry, for altogether different reasons

I'm Hungry

Man, I sure could use some tacos.  We are desperately low on food, so it's time to get to the store and get some provisions.  I sat some chicken out on the counter yesterday, and forgot about it.  So, I woke up this morning to warm chicken.  Yeah, that got thrown away.  So, no chicken tacos for lunch.  You can say it - I'm dumb.

Top Ten Villains

Being good is boring.  Helping old ladies across the street?  Each of the people on this list would extend a foot and watch her trip on the pavement.

Here is my list of 10 Baddies.  You don't like it?  I'll send Destro to your house and he'll punch you.

10) Doctor Doom - Victor von Doom from Latveria is the nemesis of Marvel Comics Fantastic Four.  Visions of world domination has led to  him making my list.

9) Bill Laimbeer - Center for the Detroit Pistons.  Hated around the league for dirty play, foul mouth and razor-sharp elbows.  Finished his career with 10,000 points and 10,000 rebounds.

8) Kaiser Söze - Bad guy from the Movie "The Usual Suspects".  Underworld kingpin who never does business with the same person twice.  Wears a disguise so you never know when you're next on the list.

7) Bill Bellichick - The  Hooded Bandit.  Coach of the New England Patriots.  Led his team to an undefeated season, as well as 3 Super Bowl trophies and is currently marching towards a fourth.  Busted for having an assistant coach video-tape signals of their rival the New York Jets.

6) Destro - Chrome-Domed arms dealer from G.I. Joe.  He'll sell weapons to both sides in order to continue to make loot.  Can be seen canoodling with Baroness.

5) Brutus - Roman Senator who killed Julius Caesar in  44 BC.  Perhaps biggest betrayal of all-time.   

4) Claude Lemieux - Prick forward from the Colorado Avalanche.  Satan.   

3) Courtney Love - At least, Courtney Love is the woman married to Kurt Cobain at the time of his death.  At most, she perhaps had something to do with it.

2) Hans Gruber - German terrorist who took the Nakatomi Tower.  John McClane showed him who's the boss by blowing him away, and knocking the whole building down.

1) Darth Vader - Luke Skywalker's dad.  Oh, he's also the Dark Lord of the Sith.  No, he is not Dick Cheney.

Tecmo Bowl Rules, or the longest Bo run ever

With tomorrow being NFL Championship Weekend, it made me think of my favorite football video games of all time.  While Madden has taken over for over the past fifteen years, before John - there was Tecmo Bowl.  The game where Bo Jackson and Lawrence Taylor are the most dominant video game characters since Mario an Q-Bert.

Here's to the greatest sports video game of all time.

 

Iron Man Trailer

What am I looking forward to this year?  Iron Man.  That's what.  RDJ will rock as Tony Stark, the billionaire drunk who becomes Iron Man because of shrapnel lodged in his chest.

Great Men with Beards

Right now, The Jay is rocking a sweet beard.  While sitting in the Holiday Inn, stroking my beard thinking of what brilliant content to add to this wonderful blog - it hit me.  Great men have beards.  Beards are cool for many reasons:  Not everyone can grow one.   Keeps your face warm in the winter.  Makes a man look distinguished. 

Let us go through some of the great men in history and present day with beards:
* Abe Lincoln - cool dude, who freed the slaves.  On money.
* Bill Russell - Boston Celtic who rocked a cool goatee, 5 time NBA MVP.
* Sean Connery - 007.  Respect.
* Jesus - great (fictional?) character who can take water and turn it into wine.
* David Letterman - late-night talk show host who like to see if things float (recently removed beard).
* Chuck Norris - guy who kicks ass.  Often.
* Brett Favre - Green Bay Packers quarterback, who won a Super Bowl and is a sure-fire Hall of Famer.
* Ulysses S. Grant - 18th President of the United States, one of the greatest Generals of all time.  Also born on my birthday.
* George Clooney - Batman.
* Darren McCarty - former Detroit Red Wings forward who made the greatest single, ankle-breaking play in the NHL Finals. 

5th Annual Poker Night

This year, we elevate our game.  Thanks to the after-Christmas sale at Dicks Sporting Goods, the Black Out Tavern now has a poker table.  The price?  40 bucks.  It survived the car ride back from the store, so I think it will be instrumental in Jay dominating in Texas Hold 'em on January 19th.  Bring your cash and your A game - I'll take 'em both.

M&M Testing, or There Can Be Only One

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

Props to Parker for finding this.