Thurston Blogging

My Kingdom for a Taco

Why don't Europeans understand how truly gratifying tacos are?  While we're on the subject, why do they allow crap fast-food franchises like KFC, Pizza Hut and McDonalds to post their neon signs from Italy to Germany.  Subway sells their crap sammiches in Germany, but no one can pony up and put the wonderful Taco Bell in Torino, Cologne, Dublin or Prague.  Why?  Who doesn't love hogging down a warm, gooey bean burrito, or gnawing into a hard-shell taco covered in Fire sauce.

In 2004, I spent half of the year in Belgium and Germany.  This year, I'm on my third trip in Italy.  This marks the first of three straight weeks in The Boot.  Italian food is terrific - pasta, pizza, seafood and wine are all outstanding.  However, it is pure torture to not be able to get a Nacho Supreme (with no sour cream), a Dr. Pepper and a Chicken Fiesta Burrito.

The Taco Bell website states that they have franchises in South America, Asia and Europe.  However when I Google "Taco Bell Europe" - nothing shows their European locations.

Perplexed, I sent the fine folks at Taco Bell a note; asking where in Europe a dude like myself can grab a Gordita.  Not that I like Gorditas, but I may be so inclined to try one in Italy for the Hell of it.

Back to the Hotel

Greetings, friends.  How did all of these people get in my room?  Welcome to the Holiday Inn Express in lovely Torino, Italy.  This week, I was able to get the room on the first floor on my first attempt.  Wi-Fi access is only available on the first floor.  Also, I got a double bed instead of the normal pair of twin beds.

The complaint of the week - the bathroom has a handicap shower.  It is barrier-free, so the water tends to run the entire distance of the bathroom floor.  However, this  shower does have a seat in it, and the toilet has an assist handle to the side of it.

After traveling for two days to get to this wonderful place, I unpacked, washed my face, brushed my teeth and took my shoes off.  Oh, mama.  It smelled like someone left Nell Carter out in the sun too long.  Those doggies were ripe.

Pulling a three week tour this time, and I'll be for Good Friday.  On this trip, I've brought four books:
Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk
The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman
Cash the Autobiography of Johnny Cash
When Pride Still Mattered by David Maraniss about Vince Lombardi

More updates to follow.

The title of this makes me think of Phil's song by N 2 Deep.

Turkey Day - NFL Style

Well, the Lions have their sparring partner for the annual Thanksgiving game in Detroit.  Nick (the Prick) Saban will bring the Miami Dolphins to Ford Field on the last Thursday in November.  Expect Ronnie Brown to run through us like a bad burrito.  Saban's QB, Love Boat Captain Culpepper, knows how to throw long bombs in Detroit, so he'll feel comfortable here.

The second game on the docket that day features Terrel Owens and Chucky.  The Tampa Bay Buccaneers will go to Dallas to run Derrick Brooks at the phone-pole known as Drew Bledsoe.  Lefty toehead (represent, sucka!) Chris Simms will hand the ball off 50 times to Cadillac and hand the Cowboys their 5th loss, causing Bill Parcells head to implose.

And from the Quit Ruining a Good Thing Department:

There is a third game on Thanksgiving.  Why?  Lamar Fricking Hunt.  That senile old dingdong has been railing for his stupid Kansas City Chefs (Great Googly Moogly) to get a Turkey Day game.  The old fart got his wish - the Broncos are going to Arrowhead.  While I'm happy the league didn't take Detroit's game away, adding another game sucks dead gopher.  It's not needed.

The league just panders to the rich old white turdbags, unless your name is Al Davis.  Suing the NFL doesn't do much to ingratiate you to Tags.  Paul Allen, Bill Gates homie and mega-rich owner of the Seahawks, puts a request in to have a mini pc on the wrist of each QB, so he can look up plays.  The mini PC runs Microsoft Vista, and it gets a virus.  Quarterback X looks at his mini-monitor and it goes blank.  As he tries to reboot, a linebacker plants him like a rosebush.  Could happen, because the league cowtows to rich, white dumbass owners.

Greetings from Torino, or Where the Heck is the snow?

Here are a few shots from lovely Torino, Italy - home of the 2006 Winter Olympic Games.  Finally, I was able to see the downtown, and it was a truly neat European city.  Italy did a great job in restoring several buildings and landmarks in this town where the Alps are just 30 minutes away.

Some of the Olympic art throughout the city.  I dig this stuff.

Here is a picture of my rental car.  Not bad for 40 Euro a day.

 

Best Video Game Character

Who is the best video game character of all time, you ask?  That's a very difficult question to answer.  If you ask my nephew, he would say Mario.  Hard to argue with an Italian who could have had a prosperous career in the adult-entertainment industry, but instead decided to fight a big monkey with his cool brother Luigi.

Some would say that Tommy Vercetti from the GTA series is the best around.  What about Master Chief from the Halo franchise?  Who doesn't dig the dude from Metroid- he kicks Ridley like no one's business.

My favorite is a lesser-known character from the Tekken series.  Let me give you a hint - "No Swede!"  You know him as the Japanese Sumo Mack-Daddy, Ganryu.  His hobbies are gambling and smashing Gun Jack's balls into the dirt.  His moves include the Sumo Scoop, the Sumo Squash, the Jamming Palm and the Stomp.  You can't fight that Stomp.  Heihachi and Yoshimitsu don't stand a chance against the big man in the purple diaper.

All hail Ganryu.

The 30 Hour Day, or how I learned to love the people of Cinncinnati

Got up at 4:00 AM Local time in Torino, Friday morning.  That's 10:00 PM Thursday night in the states.  Took a 30 minute drive to the airport after checking out of the Holiday Inn Express.

Flew from Torino, Italy to Frankfurt, Germany on Lufthansa.  Had to get my bag, and take the train from one terminal to the other.  Check in with Delta, and sit on my arse for over four hours.  Fly from Frankfurt, to Cinncinnasty, Ohio.  Screaming kids, no personal video monitors, but thank Jeebus for my Bose Noise-Cancelling headphones and my iPod, or there would have been hella trouble.  As it was some bastard behind me kept pulling on the back of my seat whenever he had to shake the dew off the lilly.  We had words.

So, I finally get off the plane over nine hours later, and you clear customs.  An announcement comes over the cruddy PA system, stating that there is a power problem and the bags are held up.  40 minutes later, I have my bag, but now I have to clear immigration and some tool takes forever, as he didn't fill out his paperwork correctly.

Go through the f'ing metal detector and the old bag "suggests" I take my shoes off.  When I say that my shoes have cleared 20 airports, I get to have the male assist.  he swabs my shoes, and "wow" they're fine.  Stupid Ohio.

I get to take a bus to the other side of the dump called the Cinncinnati airport, which is in Kentucky by the way, and I miss the 4:35 PM flight to Grand Rapids.  So, now I have to wait for the 8:50 flight.  That will put my bloated, smelly carcass in Ada around 10:30-11:00 if everything goes well.

International travel - dig it.

Top 5 Favorite Coaches in Michigan

Lynn Henning did a Top 5 Current Baseball Managers list in the Detroit News today.  I liked it, so I have my own Top Five.  Here are my Top Five Favorite Coaches and Managers of Michigan Sports Teams:

5) Ron Mason - MSU Hockey coach from 1979-2002 - he is College Hockey's winningest coach.  I just loved going to Munn Arena as a kid and watching the Spartans whip the ass of Ferris or U of M, in that tiny place with the five idiots playing in the student band.  He won 924 games, tied another 83 and only lost 380 games for his career as a college hockey coach.  Would have been a great pro coach, and developed a ton of pro players (over 40 in the NHL).  Won the NCAA Title in 1986, and was CCHA coach of the year 7 times.

4) Chuck Daly - Coached the Pistons from 1983-1992 and won Back-to-Back NBA Titles in 1999 & 1990.  Best-dressed coach of the group and a great manager of big egos.  Kept Rodman from keeping guns in his locker.

3) George "Sparky" Anderson - Managed the Detroit Tigers to a World Series in 1984, and won the pennant in 1987.  First manager to win a World Series in both the AL and NL.  Short, and white-haired at a young age - he was a neat guy, with a positive outlook.  Also managed big egos like Jack Morris and Kirk Gibson.  Went into the Baseball Hall of Fame as a Red, but nothing to be done about that now.

2) Scotty Bowman - Probably the only person on this list with a metal plate in his head.  He also won championships in Detroit.  Won the Stanley Cup in 1997, and made Detroit become Hockeytown.  Made offensive greats like Stevie Y and Fedorov focus on Defense.  Won again in 1998 and also in 2002.  He has won the Stanley Cup nine damn times.

1) Wayne Fontes - Wayne was as crazy as an outhouse rat.  However, in 1991 - he took a team with Barry Sanders and won a playoff game in the Silverdome.  They punked Dallas, and I think that there are still Cowboy linemen looking to see where #20 went.  He finished his career in Detroit one game under .500, with 66 regular-season wins.  He was affable, fat, and made you think that you were as smart as him.  His last season with Detroit, he was the longest-tenured coach in the NFL in 1996.  And no Lions coach since Wayne has amassed anything near his win total.  Only person on this list to be in a Tom Cruise movie.  Was coach of the year in the NFL in 1991.

It's my list, and if you think you can do better - get your own blog.

Lions Free Agent Update

We're just a few hours into the NFL Free Agency period, and the Lions are asleep at the wheel.  They have let both Joe Jurevicius go to Browns and Trevor Pryce fly to Baltimore.

Kalimba Edwards has not signed elsewhere yet.  No one has thrown a pile of cash at Eddie Drummond yet, either.  Kyle Kosier left.  We barely knew, you but I feel nothing now that you're gone.

The only unrestricted Free Agent listed on the Lions website for a visit is John Kitna.  Fine, whatever.  Kitna's a legit backup, but there are greater holes to fill on this team than the Fantasy Football spots.

For a Link to the official Detroit Lions Blog, click the image below:

Where have you gone, Layne Staley?

With MTV reporting that the surviving members of Alice in Chains are reuniting for a tour, I want to take a minute to remember my hero - Layne Staley.  He sang about feeling angry, depressed, the good and bad times related to drug use and did it with a haunting voice.   Layne died in his Seattle home in April of 2002, at the age of 34 of a long-time addiction to drugs.

Alice in Chains 1992 Dirt album changed my life.  The song Angry Chair, in my opinion is the best put to wax.  The lyrics still resonate in my life today - "Corporate prison, we stay.  I'm a dull boy, work all day."  "Lonliness is not a phase.  Field of pain is where I graze.  Serenity is far away."

While I've never stuck a needle in my arm, and can't truly appreciate the Hell that Layne introduced to his mind and body, I know that life isn't always a big bowl of happy-happy.  The thought of Alice in Chains playing together again is bittersweet to me.  While the rest of the band is solid, and Jerry Cantrell is an affable genius and guitar super-pimp, Layne made that group what it was.  I hope that the band is successful in their new project, but there will never be another Layne.

With Kurt Cobain murdered by that bitch wife of his, Chris Cornell and Eddie Vedder are the remaining voices of the Seattle Grunge Sound.  Pearl Jam continues to play the music that made them great, while Cornell joined the guys from Rage Against the Machine to form Audioslave.  It's nice to have that early 90's sound still evolving and being heard today.  Just makes me pissed and bitter to think what AIC could have sounded like today, if Staley would have been able to put the needle down.

One can only hope that he's playing Texas Hold 'Em in Hell with Hendix, Morrison and taking Cobain's money.

Respect the dead:

Has anyone seen a Yugo lately?

In Italy, people drive small cars.  From what I've observed, there are two reasons.

1) Gas is expensive here.  It's 1.24 Euro per liter.  Given the exchange rate is roughly 1.2 to the dollar, it's more expensive to fill up than it is in the States.
2) There is no parking in Italy.  People park on the sidewalks, double-park, block dumpsters, etc.

I see many Fiats, Alfa Romeo, Lancia, a few Smart cars, a Ford Ka every now and again.  All week, I kept thinking - these people should drive Yugos.  Those little turdwagons were great.

Remember the Yugo that flew off the Mackinaw Bridge?  Italians should dust those cars off.  You can find Yugo's on eBay every now and then.

Long live crappy, small cars.